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12/18/14

Dermatology

My friend went to his annual skin screening about two weeks ago, something he does religiously because his lifetime of sun worship and bronze tans has only left him reminders of how good he looked, in the form of freckles, moles, yet so far, no melanomas.

His appointment was made at the end of his last visit one year ago.  As it turned out, it was on the day of a pummeling Nor' Easter that super soaked the area.  He called ahead, making sure the doctor was in. He was, and my friend wryly remarked he would take the next 'boat' to the office.

To his surprise, there was hardly any traffic, he arrived early, and he was taken into the exam room immediately.  Chagrined, he told the doc:

"Doc, in all my years of doctor's visits, your the first one to see me early."

The doc replied:

"Miracles never cease."

The doc proceeded to give my friend a very thorough exam, more time consuming than a normal 'late' visit.  The past few years my friend noticed a pattern:  the doc would find one 'suspicious' lesion which he'd biopsy and send to the lab.  This visit, the doc found four.  Four! 

Well, my friend mused, all those years I thought I was George Hamilton are catching up to me.  He got dressed, then went to the receptionist to make next years's appointment, assuming optimistically these biopsies would be negative like the others.  After getting the 'same time, next year' appointment card, he relayed the 'early' visit comment he gave to the doc.  She said:

"That was easy, he had three cancellations before you."

My friend left the office, still believing in 'miracles', but not performed by this doctor.


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